I just want to take out my thoughts.
It breaks my heart and dreams that I can't get a chance to be a scientist and an astronaut, or even a youtuber…
I don't want to be just an artist, I don't want to die forgotten. I want to make an impact in history.
I'm already trying my best to make my dreams of begin a scientist&astronaut, a youtuber, and helping this world true…but I'm afraid that I won't get the chance, ever. That nobody will give me a chance and that in 30 years (if I'm alive by then, like if I don't kill myself then) I will look back with pure regret and pain, twice as much pain as I have now.
I've already decided what I want to be. I want to dedicate my life to science, knowledge and creativity or/and art. It is what I want. But at the same time, I want to dedicate my life to making people smile, maybe throughout Youtube or so. Also, the fact that math is my enemy now, is a big problem. But anyway, I don't want to dedicate my life to someone, especially NOT to making my own family. Because I hate that idea. I want to say that when I grow up and people asks me who I'm married to, I want to say "I'm married to the time and space" and not to someone
unless it is…Mar….ah you know who I mean.
I just want to make my dreams true…I don't want to live my life, regretting 99% of it.
I want to make an impact in history, I want people to know me for something good.
((Btw dont worry, I'm working on the birthday presents and AT& the memes list uv u))
Edit: I really don't know how to comment, except the fact that I'm really thankful for all of your comments, you guys have no idea how much they made me feel better lifted me up.
So thank you guys and I'm so sorry for not replying, it is just that I lack of words
Again I'm so sorry and I love you all so much